2 weeks

Two weeks in and this kid is already breaking my heart every day with how much he is growing and changing.
Colt is so alert, he loves to be a part of the action. He is not a fan of falling asleep, he must think he is going to miss something.
After my mom left Sunday night, it was the start to the first "stay at home mom" week, and we have definitely had our ups and downs.
It seems like he will have a great night, followed by a great day, then a not-so-good-night and the same kind of day. I can't hold it against him though, being a baby sure is hard, and trying to figure out what he needs me to do sometimes takes me longer than he would like.
Colton is so grunty, and he doesn't like waking up. He will spend 30-45 minutes just grunting and stretching before he wakes up, it is pretty funny.
This man is full of such a sweet personality, I can tell he is trying so hard to interact with me when he stares at me with those baby blues (which have lightened significantly this week...*sob*), and every time I get a glimpse of his sleep smiles I just can't wait for him to start grinning.
He lost his umbilical cord this week, on Tuesday August 19th, and I am loving his belly button. He also had his "1 week checkup" on the 15th, and he was up to 8lbs 10 oz, so up 4 oz from birth, which is great!
Such funny things motherhood does to you...I have never before talked about "tooting" in such depth, but babies sure incite a lot of "bathroom" talk.


1 week

We survived the first week!
I have heard a lot of horror stories of first weeks home with new babies, and I have to say, we have had it pretty darn good. Mostly because this sweet lady has been running the house since Saturday.
She has been taking such good care of us, and we have had so much fun just spending time together. She is one awesome Gramma, and I will be so sad for her to leave Sunday night!
Colton is just so darn adorable, all I want to do all day is stare at him. He has the biggest dark blue eyes, and he has such a sweet little personality.
He loves snuggling on anyone's chest, right in the middle. He won't let us burp him over our shoulders, he will scooch himself over to the middle of our chests and just snuggle there. That is the no-fail way to get him to sleep. Then periodically he will raise his neck up like a little giraffe to stretch and it is the cutest thing ever.
He also makes quite the Derrick Zoolander impression with a great "blue steel" though of course he hasn't let me catch it on camera yet.
He has given us little glimpses of his smiles in his sleep, and he has the Bunch dimples! I can't wait to see his big grins.
There is this really high pitched hoarse squeak he makes when he is hungry, it is almost like a whine, and it never fails to make me laugh.
We are so in love with this little man, his daddy especially. I love seeing them together.


Colton's birth story

A week ago I never thought this little one was ever going to come! But Tuesday night, after Jared's awesome lacrosse game I was still feeling pretty good. I decided to try to mess with this desk fan in our room that had been rattling, so I started to pull it apart, when I started getting contractions. Now I had been having contractions for 3 weeks at this point, so I didn't think too much of them, but when one came that knocked me to my knees, and 2 minutes later another one did the same thing, I started to get excited.
We labored at home for about 2 and a half hours, but since I was already dilated to a four, and they were really intense, and coming every two minutes, we decided to head to the hospital. Jared was so great getting all our stuff in the car and stopping to let me hang off him every time I had a contraction.
We got to the hospital and they admitted me right away, at 11:40 Tuesday night. I got changed into my gown and they checked the baby out and I just continued to labor. I was having a really hard time laying or sitting down, the only way I could get through a contraction was to jump up and hang off of Jared's neck while he drew on my back and helped me breathe.
This pattern continued, with labor getting stronger and stronger, for the next 13 hours, that's right folks, no drugs, no rest, just labor. They had checked me at about 10 am and I was to a 6, but by 1 pm, I was completely exhausted. I had been up since 4 am the night before, and jumping up to have contractions every 2 minutes, not to mention the brutal contractions themselves, had all taken their toll. I started to worry I would be too exhausted to push, so we talked to our nurse and midwife about getting an epidural. Everyone was very supportive, but we all wanted to check my progress first, because if he was only an hour or two away, I could fight through it. So she checked, and I was at a 9! This was great, but this is where everything started to go downhill.
She "broke my water", but nothing came out, so we thought baby's head was blocking the water. Well ANOTHER 2 hours go by (15 hours at this point) and they check me again. My jubilation for making it to a 9 had when off, and I was absolutely wiped again. Well I was still at a 9, and turns out she hadn't actually broken my water. So they ACTUALLY broke it this time, and immediately contractions overcame me.
I was so tired at this point, I felt like I was having a complete out of body experience. The pain and exhaustion weer so overwhelming, and on top of that they informed me it was now time to push, even though I had no urge to.
So for the next two hours I screamed and pushed and cried and pushed, and really thought i was going to die. This was 4 hours after I had initially wanted the epidural, and I thought it was too late at this point for one.
It was all very confusing, one minute we would hear that he was so close, then the next they would say I wasn't progressing at all. Pushing was so frustrating because every contraction now even more strongly felt like it was going to shatter my entire lower body, but also I KNEW  it wasn't doing anything. I didn't feel him coming down any further, and they all kept yelling at me to just keep pushing, and this was the opposite of what I had wanted and put in my birth plan. Luckily I had the most amazing labor and delivery nurse,  who just let me scream and cry and completely lose it. She kept trying to honor our birth plan, when others in the room were throwing it to the wind.
Also, poor Jared was so so tired, this had been such a long ordeal, and to hear me screaming and wailing for so long really took and toll on him, he was so stressed and scared and confused. He didn't know who to believe as far as my progress, and all he wanted was to help me.
Finally after one contraction that I literally thought I was going to die during, I collapsed and started screaming "IT'S NOT WORKING I CAN'T DO IT HE IS NOT MOVING DOWN AND I AM GOING TO DIE"  I just kept screaming that over and over, I had completely lost it.
That is when they ordered me an emergency epidural. They asked if I wanted one and I just screamed that i had wanted one 4 hours ago get it in as quickly as possible. My angel of a nurse ran to get the anesthesiologist and he walked in 5 minutes later (when they told me it could take a hour for him to get there.) I imagine my nurse grabbing him by the collar and dragging him in herself.
We got my IV hooked in and I had to hunch over for him to get the epidural in. Those two contractions I had to sit completely still through wracked my body and I thought my pelvis would explode, but finally it was in, and before I knew it, sweet bliss poured through my body as I started to lose feeling. So phase one, the "natural" part of my labor lasted 18 hours, with two hours of pushing. Next came this blissful "drugged" part.
They jacked up the pitocin to see if that would move the baby down since he hadn't progressed at all, so for four wonderful hours I just laid there in a stupor, not feeling anything but still not really able to sleep.
The relief was magnified since Jared was able to catch some sleep and some relief as well. He was such an angel through the whole thing, I wonder what I did to deserve such an incredible man.
At about 930 pm they checked me, and got very concerned when baby was still in the same place. So they called in the doctor on call. She came and checked me and told us that he was completely sideways in the birth canal, that maybe he might be in the middle of turning to come out, but it was very unlikely and he was essentially stuck. She made me change positions to try to help the baby to turn, but didn't have high hopes.
Hmmm, no wonder it felt like my pelvis would explode either every contraction, the kid was freaking sideways! And WHY it took the doctor on call, and not my midwives to tell me this, I guess we will never know.
So we waited an hour, and I got checked again, and he hadn't moved. His heart rate had started to dip with my contractions, and he was completely stuck, so finally the doctor said they needed to do a c section, because he would never come out on his own.
They were kind enough to step out to let Jared and I talk about this. Absolutely everything we had hoped for had gone through other way, and a c section really scared us. We were both so so tired and weak, and so scared. We just cried and tried to think logically.
We both called our parents, and they both suggested that Jared give me a blessing, which we hadn't even thought about. So he did, and it was so beautiful. We both cried through it as he blessed that we would feel comfort and we would know what the right decision was. I felt so much peace and I knew they had to do the c section. So we called the doc back in and gave our consent. Within 10 minutes they were wheeling to the operating room.
Jared came in right before they started, and everything went smoothly. I was so scared I would feel something the whole time, but it was actually a more comfortable experience than you would think. Finally they pulled him out, they said "look at all that hair!" And immediately he started crying.
My heart exploded. He came at 11:05, about exactly 24 hours after we came to the hospital.
They ran him over to the little bed, and I could barely see him, but Jared was right with him. He got to cut the cord, and watched as they weighed and measured him. He was 8.63 pounds and 21 inches long. Finally they brought him over to me and laid him on my chest. I was just so relieved he was out, and and safe, but they were still all up in my abdomen, so I was still kind of stressed out.
Jared then went with him to the nursery while they finished my surgery. I was so out of it, I just kept telling everyone "thank you thank you".  Finally they were done and they wheeled me to recovery. They had to manage my pain and make sure I was alright before they could bring me the baby. Finally I lied and told them I felt great because I was dying to see my boys.
Jared came walking up with our boy in his arms and it was such a beautiful sight. The past 24 hours had been such an absolute nightmare, but it was all worth it  Jared said he had done skin to skin with him in the nursery, and baby had tried breastfeeding on him (good baby!) So he was ready for me. They laid him on my chest and he immediately started nursing, that was something I was worried a c section would mess with, so I was so happy when he stared eating.
After that we finally got to go to the post partum room. That night was a blur, as we were all so tired. But baby was nursing great and we got to sleep a little.
We were thrilled with our post partum care. The nurses were amazing and took such good care of us. Finally Thursday afternoon we settled on Colton as his name, it just fit him so perfectly.
My mom came in Saturday morning, and is here until Sunday, and she was able to help get us home safe and sound Saturday afternoon.
Colton has been doing wonderfully at home, we are starting to get on a schedule and he is getting immense amounts of snuggles. We are so thrilled he is here safe, and we are completely in love with his sweet spirit.
And after that novel, I can say I endured all 3 kinds of labor, I really feel like I had him naturally just like the original plan, but you can only go as far as your body will let you. In the end, the doctor also said my tailbone was completely curled up, leaving less than 4 inches of space between my tailbone and pelvis, there was no human way possible I would have ever been able to push Colton out, and she doesn't have high hopes for me to ever be able to have a baby vaginally. Uh, no wonder I was in such an immense amount of pain! But that is absolutely fine with me. I'm so grateful for the modern medicine we have that saved both of our lives, and I'm take comfort in the fact that I will never have to go through what I went through that horrible day ever ever ever again, and I have the cutest, most wonderful son to show for everything.


40 weeks...

well make that 40 weeks and 3 days to be precise. I feel like I am losing my mind!!
I had an appointment yesterday, I am 80% effaced and 4 cm dilated, which is great (and hopefully means the main event will be fairly quick), but all I can say is "BABY WHY ARE YOU TAKING SO LONG!!" They stripped my membranes as well, hoping to get something started, but as of right now, I'm still just having irregular contractions.
I am pretty immensely uncomfortable, and sleeping has become even more of a chore. I am up every 30-40 minutes, needing to eat, or pee, or because I'm hoping my water broke or I'm in labor. I am absolutely exhausted! Jared described it best when he said "There's a reason you're only supposed to be pregnant for 9 months, your body can't keep doing it!"
Luckily I am taking it easy at home, which has been good because I will periodically get very sharp pains and contractions that I can't talk through, plus I have a huge fear of my water breaking somewhere other than our house...
I am desperate to meet this stubborn little man, and getting a little scared that he is just huge...I have so many cute newborn outfits I want him to fit into! haha, of course THAT is what I'm most worried about...
I'm still trying to keep my spirits up though, it is easy to feel like he will never come and I will be pregnant forever...
I appreciate everyone's well wishes and prayers! It could be any minute now!
Also, this is literally the happiest face I could muster for this picture. I'm not exactly in the most jovial of spirits these days...