I have been debating whether or not to post something about this for a while, but for my own sake, this post is to let everyone know what is going on.
Almost a month ago we found out we were pregnant. This was a total surprise, we had been planning on waiting for another year, after we graduated, before starting our family, however we were instantly thrilled. This was a whole new feeling of excitement, this was a big deal, especially for my family, this made my parents grandparents, and my siblings uncles and an aunt, so we couldn't keep it a secret for very long.
We were discussing names, even narrowed down a few, and planning futures, and this past monday I was supposed to go into the doctor for my first ultrasound, and we were going to hear the heart. I was so excited for the weeks we waited before, and could hardly sleep the night before.
So we go in Monday, the day I would be 8 weeks along, and the doctor starts the ultrasound. Long story short, he couldn't find the baby, just an empty gestational sack. He had 2 explanations. 1-I am earlier than we thought, or 2-there's no kiddo.
So they drew my blood to check my HCG levels, and were going to check my blood again today. If the HCG levels hadn't doubled, it was bad news.
Well I got a call from the nurse today, saying she just got my results from the blood test, and the doctor saw them and said my HCG levels were so high that I must be 8 weeks along, and we should have seen something on the ultrasound, so he said I didn't have to get another blood test, he just wanted me to go to the hospital to see an ultrasound tech, to get a better ultrasound.
Oh we were so excited, we were so worried we weren't going to have a baby the past few days, and this was the hope we needed. So this afternoon we went to the hospital, and after an hour of tests and things, the tech didn't find anything, even though my gestational sack was measuring 7 weeks.
So the doctor wants me to call him tomorrow, probably to run more and more tests, but I've decided I can't. I am going to wait another 2 weeks, and if I haven't fully miscarried by then, we can see about doing another ultrasound, but until then, I can't keep my hopes up. There is a condition called a "blighted ovum", where basically an egg is fertilized, but an embryo never forms. You are technically "pregnant", because the fertilized egg implants and grows, but a baby never comes along. 2 clues I think I have this- 1. obviously we can't find the baby 2. when this is the case, you usually measure smaller (weeks wise) than you actually are. The tech said my gestational sack was measuring barely 7 weeks, when I should be over 8.
I know this is personal, possibly immature, especially to "blog" about it, but I also know a lot of people have been worried about us, and I just can't have this talk with all of you over and over, I am already completely drained! Please don't be sorry for us, just keep us in your prayers, that's really what we need right now. We love you all, thank you for love and support

1 comment :

  1. Shannon! I'm so sorry!!! You sound like you have a lot of faith. You should talk to Grandma, she knows how it feels to lose a baby full-term and she is a great uplifter in hard times. I know you will pull through this. I know that you and Jared will be blessed with many children and you'll be great parents. I wish I could take away the pain and frustration. :( I can't, but Christ can. I'll pray for you guys. Love you cousin.