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11/21/2014

14 & 15 weeks


I can't believe I just typed 15 weeks!
3 1/2 months old now, and man the milestones are flying by. Colton rolled over, both from back to front, and front to back, for the first time on November 8th. Since then, though, he has forgotten how to roll from his stomach to his back, so my day is spent rolling him over when he gets stuck after rolling from his back to his stomack and freaks out. Woo hoo.
Also, he has been teething! I thought it couldn't be true, but there's a little white bulge on his bottom gum, and he is drooling so much, and is getting mighty close to shoving both fists in his mouth to suck on. Plus he has been a royal stinkerpot lately. But we are soaking up a billion snuggles and taking lots of teething tablets.
Colton loves to be tickled, and sung to, and will sing along with you. He will "oooh" with me and loves to chat. I also gave him one of my stuffed animals from when I was a kid, a little beanie baby dog named Sarge, and he loves holding it in the crook of his elbow and putting his nose on his head. He also LOVES looking at himself in the mirror. Even if he is mid scream, he will see himself and squeal with delight. In fact the only way he will let me get ready is if he is seated in front of the mirror where he can stare at his cute mug.

We are practically all the way out of 0-3 month clothes, and just moved up to size 2 diapers this week. They are still a little big, but the size 1 diapers just weren't cutting it!
He has also been losing his hair like crazy! I can see white blonde fuzz growing in under what's left of the dark, but there is not much  of it left

11/11/2014

Real Life

My sweet babe is about 14 weeks old, and I have to say, there are so many things about motherhood that are shoved under the rug. In this internet-age, everyone's perceived lives are perfect. Perfect smiles, perfect projects, just the perfect things we portray to the online world. Sadness, loneliness, and inadequacies, whether perceived or actual, aren't talked about.
One of my favorite favorite bloggers, Chandra from Oh Lovely Day did an awesome post regarding her experience with Motherhood Comparisons, and I loved it, read that here. She talks about the facade that we put on as moms, and goes on to discuss some of the less pretty things she feels, and that we need to be less hard on ourselves!
I realize I have fallen into the "perfect life" trap, only sharing parts of my life that are deemed worthy to share. However, I think it is also important to level with people, especially those who may think we have it all together. So here is my real talk. my negatives. my real life.

I am 20lbs away from my pre-baby weight, and working out for 3 weeks straight has budged the scale 1 single pound. Looking in the mirror is sometimes painful, and heaven forbid ANYONE takes a photo of me.
I have angry red stretch marks all over my belly, hips, and legs. It looks like I was attacked by something feral.
My poor post c-section belly is so saggy and sore, I can barely believe there are muscles under there.
Absolutely none of my clothes fit, so my wardrobe is now made up of one pair of maternity jeans (for special occasions...ha.), several pairs of leggings, and tons of baggy tunics to hide the above mentioned inadequacies.
I use the binky way more often than I should, it is such a crutch.
I let my baby watch tv with me, and not anything remotely educational (think pretty little liars...), and the amount of tv that is being watched (especially over the past week since I have felt under the weather) is down right embarrassing.
Nursing anywhere but in our designated nursing chair in our room, with our boppy, is near impossible. Even thinking about nursing outside of the house gives me such bad anxiety. Spewing milk, screaming boy, exposed mom, frustrated mom. All of which happen basically every time.
My kid is so stinking particular, letting anyone else hold  him when he is happy is super hard for me, because inevitably, he will end up screaming and I will have to re-calm him down for the next 20 minutes.
Although being vehemently against co-sleeping, Colton has taken to sleeping with us from about 4 am- 7 am. He refuses to sleep in my arms, the crib, the swing, or anywhere but between mom and dad during this time of night.
Sometimes when Colton is happy, I leave him to do whatever he is doing, and go about doing what I need to get done, basically ignoring him, until he is unhappy...this can last up to an hour and a half.
I have left the house, alone with the baby, probably 10 times since he was born. I feel like a complete shut in. Sometimes we go 2 days without even going outside. This is because he absolutely DESPISES his car seat. No matter what I try, he screams every time he gets buckled in, and he screams and screams until he falls asleep or is taken out, so every time I reach our destination I have to formulate a plan on how to carry him (either by ergo carrier or solly wrap), or hope that he falls asleep in the seat and hurry to complete my shopping/errands with his massive carseat in the cart.
I have NO idea how moms with more than one child  get by. So many times I can barely handle one, and he is even happy most of the day!
After this list, I could basically invalidate everything I've just written, and talk about all the good things, because really, there are SO many good things too, but I will leave this list at that. The good things are talked, facebooked, instagrammed, and blogged about every other time, so for once, I'll let some of the less pretty things out, in hopes that moms out there who might feel the same way I do can read it and know they aren't alone,

11/05/2014

13 weeks

This week has been wonderful! I have such a happy boy on my hands! Finally just about out of the newborn stage and boy have we been rewarded for being so patient. This kiddo is sleeping from about 9:30 pm-7:30 am, waking up usually only once during the night to eat and snuggle. During the day he is content and playful and chatty and smiley. He has probably cried less than an hour total this whole week. It's been so much fun!
Colton is just about rolling over from his stomach to his back. He grasps his toys and shakes rattles. He gets so excited when dad comes come and he loves to squeal to be part of conversations. He LOVES the tv too. If I let him he would sit in front of the tv all day long with no complaints.
He is constantly "sitting up straight". If I am carrying him he has to have his back straight and his head held up so he can see everything.
I am so excited to be with him every day, he is an absolute joy!