First Mother's Day

I had an awesome first Mother's day. It started with breakfast in bed and a handwritten note from Jared and Colton, Colton even drew a little picture! Jared took good care of Colton while I got to relax.
We got some pictures before church, though of course Colton was much more interested in eating my necklace than cooperating for pictures.
I love being a mom, Some days are hard, some days are busy, some days are boring, some days are sad or joyful or exciting. Some days are all of those things all at once. I constantly lay in bed at night and wonder what I can do to be a better mom. I worry about what Colton's learning, eating, saying, doing, etc. etc. etc.
I got my first "day off" since Colton was born yesterday. Jared's work pays for 20 days of "back up care" per year, where they will send in a nanny during the day. I have been looking forward to this day for two weeks. I had a doctor appointment, I went out to a cheat lunch, saw Insurgent, went shopping at Sally's, and went to get my hair done.

But all day I felt guilty for leaving Colton and missed him like crazy. I felt so alone! Then when I got home he didn't even want the nanny to leave he loved her so much and the surge of jealously I felt was totally irrational, and as I laid in bed last night I just felt sad about the whole day.
That, to me, is what motherhood is though. I can't just get a "day off" from being a mom, it's not a job, it's an identity. I WISH that I could take a day and only think about myself and what I want to do, but I think those days are behind me, and I am so grateful for it.
I now have only slept through the night once in about 15 months. I get my hair pulled and my face scratched constantly, I get my necklaces chewed on, I get slobber stains on all my clothes, spit up in my mouth, and snot streaks on my fake tan. I get big wet kisses 100 times a day. I get a few minutes of cuddles where Colton slows down long enough to rest his head on my shoulder, just for a second. I get to hear "Mamamamama" all day long. I get to find little socks in my dryer, and I get to comb his baby hair and make him look so handsome, Colton sings at the top of his lungs with me in the car, and I get to reach back and tickle his face and hear him squeal with laughter. He is a part of me that walks around outside my body, and I have never in my life felt so right as I do being his mom.
I can't wait for more kiddos that I get to feel this way about. I can't even fathom that my heart could be filled with more love, or sorrow, or guilt, or joy. But recognizing all of these things, that is what Mother's day is all about.


Exploring our backyard part 3

Salt Lake has been keeping us so busy!
Colton and I have been able to go to the zoo with Shea, and her kids Penny and Declan. This is the only picture we got, but that gorilla was so funny.
Then we got to go to the huge aquarium with Emmie and Lucy and her sister Lily! We had so much fun. I missed Emmie so much!
Later that week we went to Salt Lake Fitcon down in Sandy. Of course Colton was everyone's favorite attraction in his muscle tank. We got to see some bodybuilders lift some crazy heavy weights and got a ton of samples. It was so fun and inspiring to be surrounded by these people who were so strong!
Also we have been having so much fun just taking drives. We like to explore potential places to live, but mostly drive around and see some ridiculously extravagant homes. This weekend our car was in the shop and the dealer gave us a brand new Acadia with all the upgrades to borrow until our car was ready.
We drove around all weekend. First we drove up behind the capitol to hike Ensign peak. This was the place where the initial pioneers, including Brigham Young, surveyed the valley and decided where everything was going to be.
Colton loved the hike and sang the whole way up and down. He looked so cute on our backs with his little hat!
Later that day we drove all around Bountiful, and eventually decided on our dream home. What this picture doesn't show is the breathtaking view it has from the back!

For now we will keep dreaming. We got our little Vibe back, and came home to our little apartment, and for now that is good enough for us!


The Adventures of Colton and Mama

We had to stop doing weekly pictures and posts after 6 months. Considering Colton was screaming about 18 hours a day for almost 3 weeks straight, getting a weekly picture was the absolute last thing on my mind, and once we finally got back to normal it would have been to hard to catch up, so here's what Colton has been up to!
Crawling so fast, and pulling up on EVERYTHING. He knows his way around our house now and will come looking for me if I leave the room. He also knows where everything he wants to get into is hidden. He loves to "scary crawl" and come and get me, and run away when I do it to him.

When Jared comes home, he always greets Colton with an excited "Bubbas!!" and now, Colton will crawl around looking for dad during the day saying "bubbas bubbas bubbas".
He has been saying "Mamama" for a while now, but he can now distinguish the difference between Mama and MoMo, momo being "More". He will "mmmmmm" all through meal time, and if we take to long to feed him the next bite, or he is out of puffs he now YELLS "MMMMOMOMOMO"
That's the other thing, he loves to yell. He thinks it is hilarious, Mom does not.
He is just about pushing his walker around, but prefers to sit on his knees and play with the front of it. He also has gotten much better at dancing, and will pull up on the coffee table and shake his booty while waving an arm. He also likes to bobble head with people, or dance with them. If you shake your head at him he will do it right back.

Colton has been cutting SIX teeth the past week. He already has his two middle bottom. The next bottom left one is about halfway through, and the next bottom right one is still cutting. Then all four up top are just poking through. He will look completely different in a week when they all show up! He really has been a trooper though, just sometimes chewing on something, looking at me and wimpering, but man is he tough.
Speaking of tough, with all this pulling up and walking along furniture and everything else he can pull up on, there have been quite a few tumbles. A few days ago he fell face first onto the kitchen tile from a full standing up. His mouth was pretty bloody, but he only cried for a minute. Same with after he nailed his head on the sharp corner of the coffee table, and mom thought he would have a dent for the rest of his life. There were a few tears, and he was off again.
Still waking up about every 3-4 hours at night, but he goes down and back to sleep easily, he just wants a bottle.
We have so much fun playing together every day, and it is such a blessing to be able to watch him discover all these new things this beautiful world has to offer! He is my best little buddy